Endlessly
by laurzz
Summary: DannyLindsay. post-ep for 9x13. SPOILERS FOR EPISODE. DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE EPISODE. "Yeah, but nobody thinks of that!" She implored. "Ugh, Danny. You're so… you're so…" she trailed off and stopped fighting the smile that tugged at her lips. "I love you."


**Ok first of all if you haven't seen the episode yet do not read this. I REPEAT DO NOT READ THIS ONESHOT IF YOU HAVE NOT YET SEEN THE EPISODE. I mean it ok. I do not want to spoil this for anyone. I was completely unspoiled and had no idea and it was the best moment ever and i do not want to take that from someone else. Because trust me, it's worth not reading this for. So if you haven't seen the episode go watch it and come back and squee with me about it. **

**if you have seen the episode, it is safe to say you will understand me when I say KDJGHLSEFUH;AOERH;OSETJHOI\SJG'ORGOIFJGH;OAUEHG;L\ISFJGH\HF;OIZ\F;GOZIUHDFGZDFGHZ;DUHGZORIHG;OEURGH;ZOUHG;ZDUHG;ZDUH;GZDHGZUDNT;BUNUTNB;ZIOUTN;BTUN;HU;TOIUH;ZIUGH;UTH;OU!111! ****That was my internal reaction. My actual reaction... well, there were happy tears. Lots of WHAT JUST HAPPENED, MY EYES ARE DECEIVING ME SURELY. and I LOVE YOU PAM VEASEY. LET ME LOVE YOU. Also, of course the usual ANNA. ANNA. CARMINE. OMG. ANNA. ANNA YOU... LET ME LOVE YOU. ****Safe to say, this week was a little bit of a surprise. How the mother of god did they manage to keep that from us? I knew nothing NOTHING. nobody has said nothing. I am confused. happy. but confused. surely ... nope. **

**anyway. Read it, I hope you enjoy it. I know I enjoyed writing it with such a lovely stimulus to use. omg. **

* * *

_I'm not perfect, but I swear I'm perfect for you. And there's no guarantee that this will be easy. It's not a miracle you need, believe me. Now, I'm no angel, I'm just me; but I will love you endlessly. _

_-Endlessly, The Cab. _

* * *

Glancing up from his position, Danny smiled brightly at Lindsay's giggles. Her face disappeared as she pulled a pillow over her face to stop her laughing and he couldn't help but laugh himself.

"What's so funny?"

"I don't know!" She cried as she threw the pillow in his direction, hitting him on the head before bouncing off to the floor. "You just make me laugh."

"It wasn't that funny."

"It was." She smiled at him. He licked his lips before settling back down in his position. Ever since they had escaped the congratulations at the crime lab and made it home, they'd been laid together on their bed with Lindsay's purple shirt pulled up and Danny's head pressed against her still flat stomach, both unbelieving at the news that still hadn't properly sunk in.

"You don't know, ok?" he implored. "It could happen."

"Danny, trust me. You won't be able to feel anything."

"How do you know?" He playfully scowled at her as he pressed a kiss to her abdomen. "Have you done this before?"

"If I could bend that way I probably would have been pregnant a lot earlier."

Danny wiggled his eyebrows suggestively before settling the side of his face back against Lindsay's smooth skin. "Well… We can just wait and see."

"How long are we going to have to wait for?" Lindsay asked, raising her arm from where he'd intertwined their hands together so that she could see her watch. "Because I've kind of got things I need to do for the next nine months while you wait for some movement here."

"You're not going anywhere!" he implored as he pressed his face further into her stomach. "You two aren't leaving my sight."

"Danny, don't press so hard." She said, cupping his face with their intertwined hands.

"Okay, okay," he sighed but didn't move an inch. "But seriously, there's two of you." He said in awe, "our son or daughter is in there." He gestured to her stomach.

"Yeah, I know… so please stop pressing against them."

"I can't believe it." He sighed in awe as he pressed his lips to her stomach. "I mean it was amazing last time but oh god we have so much to look forward to and-"

"You need to move." Lindsay said suddenly, shifting from her position on the bed.

"What?" he glanced up at her. "Why?"

"No seriously, move… you need to move!" She jumped up from the bed and left him puzzled for a few moments before he heard to toilet seat being lifted and Lindsay expelling the contents of her stomach into the basin.

"Oh." He grimaced as he sat up on the bed. "Shit."

He took off her in footsteps as he followed her into the bathroom. He quickly flicked the light on and instantly dropped to his knees as he rubbed her back and pressed kisses to her t-shirt covered shoulder.

After a few minutes of listening to Lindsay heave, she finally relaxed and leant forward to flush the toilet before collapsing against Danny's chest. He instantly wrapped her in his arms and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Well that was romantic," she muttered. "Welcome to the next three months… I'll tell you what," she began as she turned her head so that she could see his face, "Throwing up definitely hasn't gotten any easier."

Danny said nothing in response to her, but there was something in his eyes that sparked tears within Lindsay. She wasn't sure whether it was already the hormones, or whether it was something a little beyond the surface. Either way, the look he'd given her had opened up the floodgates leaving her in the middle of a mini emotional breakdown. She shuffled in his arms and instantly he had her sat on his lap with his arms wrapped around her – not as tightly as he wanted to, but he was overly conscious of the fact that he'd just made her throw up over putting too much pressure onto her highly sensitive stomach.

"Hey," he whispered in her ear, "hey, what's wrong? What's the matter?"

"Nothing," she sobbed and sniffed. "Nothing's wrong."

"There are a lot of tears here if there's nothing wrong," he teased lightly. "Babe, come on tell me… why are you crying?"

She cried for a few moments and left him pondering her reasons for crying. He knew she hated being sick, so it could be that, he thought. She could be crying happy tears… although he doubted it. Or… she could be scared… and he really, desperately hoped she wasn't crying because of that.

"You missed all of this last time," she whispered. "Last time I didn't tell you for weeks and I ended up being nearly two months pregnant before you even knew Lucy existed. This time though, I've known a few hours. Everything is just a little overwhelming. These are happy tears though. I'm happy."

Sighing, Danny pressed a kiss to Lindsay's temple. "When it comes to you, I haven't always made the best decisions. I haven't always been the person you needed me to be… the person you deserve for me to be, but when I promised you that I would never hurt you again Linds, I meant every word. I promised you I would be that person you could rely on; that I would be the person you needed me to be. I didn't promise that just on a whim. I meant every word. The day you told me about Lucy, I made sure that I wouldn't ever make the same mistakes ever again. I didn't want to miss anymore of our life together because I was too busy screwing around."

His words had done nothing to stem the flow of tears in Lindsay and she just continued sobbing quiet tears, all the while gripping tightly to his sweater and nestling her head in the crook of his neck.

"The feeling I have right now makes me realise how much I missed at the beginning of your pregnancy with Lucy. You had to do this alone."

"I needed you," she whimpered. "I wanted you to be there so badly…"

"And I wasn't." He finished, pressing a kiss against the crown of her head and taking a moment to inhale her scent.

"You're here now," she whispered. "I just keep thinking how terrified I was the last time. I was sat on the edge of my bath in my old apartment, holding a stick that told me everything was going to change. I was so scared and so angry with myself… and you. I thought that it was it. Everything was going to change and I was going to be alone with a baby I wasn't ready for."

"I would have never done that to you."

"I didn't know that though," she whispered. "I thought I knew you and I thought that you would run away… It turns out I didn't know you at all. And now, I just can't help but remember how scared I was. I cried for hours, hours and hours, whimpering your name and just wishing you'd stop being a jerk and turn up at my apartment and tell me everything would be okay and we'd do it together and you never did. Partially because you didn't know but still… I waited this version of you so badly back then."

"Linds," he sighed heavily. "You never told me that."

She reached for some toilet roll to wipe her eyes and blow her nose. "I didn't want you to know that about me back then. I didn't want you to think that I relied on you… that I needed you. I had convinced myself that I didn't need a thing from you because I thought if I did that and you did let me down like I thought you would, I wouldn't have to fall very far… it turns out I was wrong."

"You did what you needed to do though." He admitted. "I was a little bit reckless and you couldn't have been sure about my reaction… I don't blame you."

"The reason I'm so… tearful." She searched for the right word to describe her current state. "Is because when I was throwing up just then I could see myself sat on the side of the bath crying, holding my pregnancy test… and I was alone. Then I felt your hand on my back and you kissed my shoulder and everything in me just… snapped. You have no idea how much I needed you and you were there."

"Hey, I know how much you hate throwing up."

"Exactly, and you were there." She whispered. "Last time I did this alone."

"You must have been so scared," he frowned.

"Terrified actually," she corrected. "But just look at how far we've come. They way you looked at me when I told you I was pregnant will literally stay with me for the rest of my life. I've never seen you look happier. When I was walking to tell you, I was scared. I mean, I was excited. Oh my god I was excited, but there was a niggling feeling in the back of my mind that filled me with dread that maybe this isn't what you wanted, or maybe it was too soon. We only decided to try for a baby a few months ago. But the way you looked at me then, and just now… it just makes that voice quieter in my head. I needed the reaction I got from you… and I can't help but think back to how I felt the last time I told you. You walked away…and this time, you nearly jumped for joy. It just… it was perfect. So these tears are happy because I'm happy."

"Well I'm happy you're happy." He said softly. "But I want you to know that I love you and the things I've done in the past are things you don't even need to worry about anymore. You don't even need to think about them. The things I said and the things I did will never, ever happen again. You know that, right? You, Lucy and this baby are my world. I'm never going to hurt you guys."

"I know," she whispered, laying her head against his chest.

"I can't explain how happy I am baby. This is good for us. Perfect actually, this is perfect."

"I should probably make an appointment with my doctor." She smiled. "Get it confirmed and everything… even if you have already told more or less everyone we know."

"Hey, you caught me off guard and I was excited."

"Yeah well," she slugged him in the arm, "What if I'm not pregnant now? I'm not going to tell them… so have fun with that okay?"

"Baby, you not being pregnant isn't even possible."

"Oh and why is that?" she smirked.

He squeezed her sides playfully as he stood up and helped her up. He laced his fingers through her hands and pulled her close to him. "Because, I just know."

"Bullshit!" she cried as he led her from the bathroom, letting her turn the light off as he tugged her into the hallway with her free hand, her fingers slid inside his back pocket. "You don't know that."

"I do," he smirked over his shoulder as he led them back to their bedroom. "I know that because of two things."

"You think you're some kind of expert? Go on, enlighten me." She smirked as she settled on the bed and he propped himself up on his elbow and arm next to her where she settled into the pillows at the top of the bed.

"Okay, well the obvious one is you don't throw up. You do everything you can to avoid it… so naturally, unless you had a bottle of wine by yourself last night, which I know you didn't, you're pregnant… you've thrown up three times today alone."

"Okay, well maybe I just have a stomach bug."

"Ah see, now that leads me onto my second indicator." He smirked as he edged closer towards her. "You have a certain glow and smile on your face that tells me there's something going on with you."

"The glow is sweat," she corrected. "I've been hot all day."

"Another nice tell-tale sign of pregnancy." He smirked.

"Alright, so all of the symptoms are evident," she shrugged as a frown passed over her face. "What if I-"

"You won't," he whispered. "I know exactly what you're thinking. We haven't tempted fate by telling everyone. We haven't jinxed ourselves… everything will be fine. This baby will be fine."

Lindsay offered him a smile before letting out a small sigh. "Can I tell you something?" she asked after a few moments of contemplative silence.

"Anything."

"I'm a little scared," she whispered. "About you know, doing it all again."

"Me too," he agreed. "It's a scary thing having a baby… but look at Lucy, Linds, we're good at this. We're good at being parents. It might be scary now but we figured it out once… I'm sure we're gonna be okay doing it again."

"I hope so," she whispered as she shuffled towards Danny so that she was tucked into his body, "Because you make a really good Dad."

"And our baby is going to be lucky to have you as their Mom."

Lindsay smiled brightly. "Do you think so?"

"Ask Lucy. She'll tell you." Danny said, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Everything will be okay Linds, we'll do it together. We'll do it as a family."

"A family," she whispered. "Our family."

"Our family which is about to get a little bigger." He smiled. "I know we decided to come off birth control and everything," he said, "but this is the best surprise."

"When do you think we got pregnant?" Lindsay asked, her smile suggesting a little more than what her question posed.

"Honestly? I have no clue… we've been getting in a lot of practise recently." He winked.

"I kind of hope it was that weekend, you know when we had the weekend off to ourselves and Lucy had her sleepover at her friend's house."

"That was a good weekend," Danny licked his lips as the memories of their lovemaking came flooding back to him.

"I really feel it was then," Lindsay whispered. "I felt so close to you and it was just a perfect weekend."

"I don't think we got dressed once."

"Danny!" She smacked his arm, making his head fall to the pillow next to her. "I was trying to be romantic."

"So was I." he smirked.

"Hmmm," she stared pointedly at him. "Well, mine was a little more romantic,"

"You want romantic?" he smirked, licking his lips. "'Cause I can do that."

"It wouldn't hurt," she teased him playfully. "Every once in a while…"

Wiggling his eyebrows, Danny shuffled even closer to Lindsay, so much so that their noses were practically touching as they lay facing each other. "There have been a few times where I've felt like we were the only two people in the world, but that weekend was one of the few times where I've looked at you and felt like you are the person that was meant for me. I kept looking at you when you drifted off, your eyes were closed and you were smiling… and I couldn't help but think that you were absolutely perfect. I remember you reaching out for me, and you managed to grab my hand, still completely asleep, and you wrapped your fingers around mine and I remember feeling this rush of emotions that made me realise that you're the only person in the world I've ever felt this much love for. I love Lucy, don't get me wrong. I love her to death and there's not a thing in this world I wouldn't do for her… but you, you're everything to me. You take up my heart, I look at you and I realise that I'm one hell of a lucky guy and I know that no matter what life throws at us, we'll be okay. I remember looking at you that weekend and I realised that you are everything I've ever needed and wanted rolled into one. I didn't realise that in that moment; I knew it a long time ago… but sometimes I forget and I take you for granted and I don't always appreciate your goodness and love like I should… but in that moment, I remembered and shortly after that you woke up and we had the best sex I think we've ever had… and I think that's because in the moments before I was slowly beginning to understand what love really was. Love is you, Lindsay. It's more than just a feeling… it's everything that comes with you. I love you endlessly, Lindsay. Forever and always eh... there's not getting rid of me."

Lindsay said nothing as her free hand went to rest against her chest as tears filled her eyes. "It's like you want to make me cry or something." She finally spluttered as she pressed her lips against his. "I love you too, Danny."

"I wonder if it was that weekend." He mused afterwards, "It'd be a bitch tryin' to pinpoint which time. We probably had sex like ten times."

"You know they can't do that Danny." She smirked. "Could you imagine; yes, Mr Messer it seems like your sperm hit your wife's egg at approximately eleven fifty eigh-"

"Alright smartass, that's enough." Danny laughed. "I bet Mac could do it though."

"Mac is getting nowhere near my uterus, thank you very much." she scowled, crossing her legs. "Certified Doctors and you will be enough for the next nine months..."

"That's all well and good you saying me now, but when we're in the delivery room and you're screamin' at me that this is my fault I'm gonna have no choice but to remind you about this conversation and how you said it's okay for me to still lay down the Danny love."

"I swear to God, Danny, you're full of crap sometimes." she smirked.

"I'm full of a lot of things," he winked playfully as he pressed a kiss to her temple and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

Although their conversation was simply in jest, she felt intrigued and began doing the math in her head.

"How many weeks have you missed your period for?" Danny asked, as if he could hear her thoughts

"Three." She began. "It completely slipped my mind."

"Well you'd been on a week before that weekend. So… that would make you… almost a month along?" He furrowed his brow. "Yeah, about a month."

"If it was even that weekend."

"It was," he smiled at her. "I could say something completely inappropriate here, but I'll refrain. You'd probably castrate me."

"Well, in all fairness I've had what I needed from you now, I have, or will have, two children so really..."

"I'm gonna stop you right there," he said as he caught her hand that was quickly making its way down his stomach. "You know that you wouldn't last a week without time in between the sheets with your loving husband, so don't even try it with the bullshit you've got what you need now line. You're never going to have had enough of me."

Lindsay shook her head, ignoring her husband's comment with a smirk on her face. "When did I come off birth control?" she asked.

"A week before your period." He reminded her. "That's why you came on, remember because we stopped the birth control?"

"Oh yeah," she nodded, things beginning to fall into place. "Well, the math adds up." She began.

"It does." He nodded. "It makes me laugh... you were off birth control for two minutes and boom."

"Did you just say boom?" she rolled her eyes.

"Well, it works. Literally and figuratively. Boom."

Lindsay merely shook her head in shame.

"We'll make an appointment tomorrow okay?" Danny chuckled at her reaction to his 'boom'. "Your Dad is going to be so excited."

Lindsay smiled at the thought of sharing the good news with him. "He really is."

"But you know what I was thinkin' earlier," Danny began. "Tellin' people you're pregnant is basically like tellin' them that you had sex, so us tellin' him you're pregnant is basically admittin' to him that we have sex."

Anything that Lindsay was going to say in response promptly left her as she stared at her husband. She shifted in her position and blinked numerous times at him.

"What?" he implored at her blank stare.

"I… I… how can you have just said something so romantic and eloquent two minutes ago, and then your next thought be about… that? I… you… I guess the balance in the world has been restored. You've said something amazing and now you've said something so dumb… I can't believe you've said that. You're supposed to be intelligent Danny."

"But… it is."

"Yeah, but nobody thinks of that!" She implored. "Ugh, Danny. You're so… you're so…" she trailed off and stopped fighting the smile that tugged at her lips. "I love you."

"I love you," he smiled at her. His eyes softened before they widened again as realisation hit him. He disappeared from her line of sight as she saw him shuffling down the bed towards her stomach, "And I love you," he merely whispered against the skin of Lindsay's still flat stomach.

Lindsay closed her eyes and merely accepted the kisses and whisperings from Danny against her stomach. She found solace in the fact that the version of herself five years ago would have done anything for this… and now, five years and a happy marriage later, she had it. She had everything. Things were good. Everything was perfect.

Finally.

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**I don't know how I managed to put that together as I have not yet stopped fangirling. However, I hope you liked it all the same. Fangirl with me. Let me know what you thought and thank you for reading! **


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